Unknown Caller

The date was Saturday, the 24th of February. The temperature was around 9 degrees celsius, there was a northerly wind at about 10mph, and Niimura Tooru, more often known as Kyo, or 'the migdet vocalist who keeps throwing up',  was thinking, It has to be here...

Kyo rifled frantically through Shinya's bag. Come on, please let it be here. I've been planning this all week...

It's not here.

No, wait, it is!

Grinning like an idiot, Kyo pulled Shinya's phone out of the drummer's bag. Finally, my chance to prank call the 'Queen'...! It took all his strength to stop himself from giggling like a giddy schoolgirl.

                                                                        ***

[Ten days earlier]
"Well, my theory is that all you girly men know eachother somehow. You meet up once a month and discuss the best method of putting on lip-liner," Die grinned. Shinya rolled his eyes.

The vocalist, the drummer and the rhythm guitarist of Dir en grey were all sprawled around the room they were using for practice. Kaoru and Toshiya had vanished, and their fellow band members didn't really want to imagine what they were doing together.

"The National Society of the Skirt-clad Men," Kyo remarked thoughtfully, ducking as Shinya threw a cushion at him and glaring at the taller man. "Whaaat? It's not the stupidest theory ever, after all."

"No, the stupidest theory ever –out of the many stupid theories you two have devised- was the one that Kaoru isn't gay, he just believes Toshiya is an actual girl," Shinya said. His tone of voice was cold, but the corners of his mouth were twitching and stretching into a slight, reluctant smile.

"Okay, that was stupid, especially when we tried to prove it," Kyo snickered. Die groaned, painful memories surfacing.

"No, that was just really embarrassing," he grimaced. Shinya hid his grin.

"But, actually, I suppose this latest theory has some truth in it," the feminine drummer said slowly.

Kyo gaped. "There really is a National Society of Skirt-clad Men?"

"...Baka. Of course not. But, well, not to brag-" Shinya gave them a grin which made it very clear that is was to brag "-I have spent a night out with Mana-sama, and we exchanged numbers. This was ages ago, obviously, but I still have it. I mean, who would delete Mana-sama's phone number?"

Die snorted. "Riiiiight. You just keep telling yourself that, Shin-chan."

"Shut up. I'm not lying."

"You so are. You didn't give us your number for ages after you joined the band. Do you really expect
us to believe you swapped numbers with Mana-sama after a girls' night out?"

"I'm going to choose not to hear the 'girls' bit, and tell you that there were large amounts of alcohol involved."

Kyo blinked. "Shinya. Are you telling us that you got Mana-hime, often referred to as the Queen of Visual, generally greed to be the prettiest man in Japan, famed for being totally emotionless...you got him drunk?"

"He got himself drunk. Although we did buy a lot of drinks for eachother. I seem to remember that he was exceedingly fond of martinis."

Kyo sat back, disengaging his mind from the conversation. Mana-sama was an incredibly important and famous person. And Shinya had his phone number. Which meant that, with the right amount of trickery and luck, prank calls were on the horizon...

                                                                      ***
Kyo snickered and saved the phone number to his own mobile. This was going to be just too stupidly, impossibly funny.

                                                                      ***
A composition by Bach flew through the air. It shattered Mana's light sleep and made him moan softly in sleepy distress.

Someone was trying to call him. Why now, during the first decent, dreamless bit of sleep I've had since God knows when?

Curly, false eyelashes quivered against dead-white cheeks, then parted to reveal ice-blue contacts. Mana groped for his cell phone and answered it. "Moshi moshi?"

"Moshi moshi, is this Mana-san?"

"That's 'Mana-sama' to you, I think," Mana snapped. He was being a bitchy prima donna again, he knew, but didn't really care.

"Of course, of course. Please forgive me." Mana recognized the voice from somewhere, he thought. He was good at remembering voices. But it was muffled and a little distorted by the bad connection; he couldn't place it.

"I...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped," Mana sighed. "Who is this, and what can I do for you?"

"This is your secret admirer."

Silence.

"If this is the fangirl from a few weeks ago...Mayuko or...Mayuki or something...then I'm sorry, but-"

"It isn't. I'm a secret admirer, not a fangirl or fanboy."

"Ahh," Mana sighed in relief. "'Good. I trust you know the difference?"

"Obviously."

"Excellent, excellent. Now tell me how you got this number."

On the other end of the line, Kyo considered for a moment. He could tell the boring and rather
stalkerish truth, or he could lie and make it sooooo much more interesting, if still stalkerish.

"Well...a bird fell out of a tree, and broke its wing. I helped it to heal, and, when it was healthy again, it told me I could find your number under a certain rock. Only the bird lied, so I threw the rock at it and ended up killing it. You don't lie about serious things, after all." Kyo could have sworn he heard Mana giggle very, very quietly. "So then two angels came to escort it's soul to...wherever, and gave me a choice; I could live forever in a tropical paradise, with eternal free drinks and gorgeous women, or I could walk three times around the earth, over hot coals and freezing ice, and at the end, there was a nought-point-nought-nought-nought-nought-one chance I might find your number. As opposed to the zero chance I had before. Obviously I chose the latter. Who wouldn't?"

Mana smiled. The lie the mystery caller had told was deliberately made to be unbelievable. It sounded almost like a fairytale. He'd always liked fairytales. Mana wondered if he should be scared. After all, it seemed he had a stalker. An obsessed fan. But he couldn't bring himself to be afraid. All he felt was intrigued and excited by the stranger's seeming love of riddles and strangeness. "Is that so? I'm very flattered. Tell me, do you have a name?"

"Mana-sama, I thought you liked mystery? Such a shame, I had a game planned out, but if you don't like playing games, then-"

"No, I love them. What does this game consist of, then?" It annoyed the feminine guitarist, the way he was suddenly hastening to correct his mistakes, so as not to offend the other man. He didn't even know him, and yet he was changing himself into someone he thought he would like. How stupid- he spent his life ignoring what others thought of him, and yet, when it came to romance, he would inevitably change to suit the other person.

Except this wasn't romance. This was probably a prank call, for goodness' sake. Mana shook his head angrily.

"Well," Kyo smirked, "I won't tell you my name, but I will give you clues. You'll have to try and figure out who I am."

"Do I know you?"

"You might. I couldn't say."

Mana sighed. "I'm not convinced yet, mystery secret admirer man. Is there a reward if I win this game?"

"How about my own sweet self as a reward? You'll have complete control of me for a day and a night. I'll do whatever you like."

"Ahh. I quite like that idea. It works whatever happens. Then...okay. I'll play your game," the feminine man smiled. On the other end of the line, Kyo punched the air in triumph.

"Yes! Now, will you guess who I am yet?"

"Anou...what happens if I get it wrong...?"

"After three wrong guesses, you're out. I put the phone down and never contact you again." Pause. "Unless you don't want to be contacted by me."

"No, no, you've made me curious now. I want to know who you are."

"I see. Well then, no guessing yet?"

"I haven't got a clue...yet," Mana admitted in a near-whisper, sounding almost ashamed of himself.

"Only to be expected. I'll have to give you some more clues later. Goodbye, Mana-sama."
And he hung up.
                                                                ***
Kyo burst out laughing. He fell for it! He completely fell for it!

                                                                ***
[The next day]

Mana stormed into the room Moi dix Mois were using for practice, looking absolutely murderous. The rest of his band gave him long, amazed stares. "You're...fifteen minutes late," K pointed out tentatively. Mana gave him the evil eye.

"I know that, K. It's hardly my fault. My purse was stolen."

"Huh? How did that happen? You drive from your house to here, don't you?"

"Well, today my car didn't start, so I take public transport and, when I opened my bag to pay for the
ticket, my purse was gone," Mana snapped. "Some poor fan had to pay for me!" Well...I have a nagging suspicion that I was so busy trying to figure out the identity of my new secret admirer, I left my purse at home, but I'm not going to tell them that.

"But how did that make you late?"

Mana gave him a cold stare that meant 'die, foolish mortal'. "Stop being so inquisitive. I believe I'm the bandleader here, if you don't mind."

K didn't say anymore, but it was obvious that he was not satisfied with this answer. Mana was behaving strangely- distracted and absent-minded. And when his phone had rang- some idiot dialling the wrong number- he had answered almost immediately, cheeks ever-so-slightly flushed, with a high, nervous note in his voice.

When the bandleader had told everyone to take a break, and left to have a cup of tea in a café only five minutes away, K beckoned Seth over to him, and asked, "Do you know why he's acting this way?"

"Who, Mana? Isn't it obvious?"

"He's distracted to the point of utter stupidity, glances at his phone every five seconds, and, when the phone actually rang, he answered it blushing like a schoolgirl. He's nothing like his normal self. No, it's not obvious," K snapped.

"Baka. It's about a girl," the vocalist said simply.

"...I doubt it," K sighed. "For one thing, I doubt a girl could get Mana so distracted. For another, is he
even interested in girls?"

Seth considered this. "Well...I suppose you're right. And I have no real idea. But weren't he and Gackt...? Or was that just a rumour?"

"It's true, as far as I know."

"Thought so. We shouldn't really stand around and gossip about Mana-san like this, should we?"

"No, we shouldn't. Still, he's an interesting person to gossip about, you must admit," K grinned. Seth nodded.

"So...do you think he's in love with someone, then?"

"Who's in love?" Mana asked, stepping in the door and frowning at them.

K opened his mouth to lie, but Seth beat him; only he told the truth. "We were discussing how distracted you've been lately," he informed the guitarist. Mana gave him a long look, and then shook his head.

"Honestly. I'm not that distracted. I just have a few things on my mind. And I'm not in love," he said. A slight smile appeared on his black-painted lips at the last sentence. "Not when I've only talked to him once," he continued in a whisper, to himself- but K heard, and looked at Seth with raised eyebrows.

                                                                  ***
Just like Mana, Kyo was having a bad day. Nothing had been stolen or lost, but he too was distracted, and unlike Mana, he did not have the status of bandleader to pull himself out of any awkward situations with. Kaoru gave him a glare.

"Kyo, may I talk to you for a moment?"

The other members of Dir en grey gave eachother the sort of part-worried, part-amused and part-eager-to-see-what-happens-next looks that go between classmates when one of their number is spotted reading porn magazines under his desk by a teacher. Kyo rolled his eyes at them, and followed Kaoru into a corner.

"Kyo, you-"

"Need to be more focused. I know, I know. Look, I'll try harder next time. I just have some stuff on
my mind."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

"Huh?"

"What I wanted to say was; are you getting enough sleep?"

"...Eh?"

Kaoru sighed. "The others and I get emails and texts from you at two or three in the morning almost every day. You're always distracted, and you have dark circles under your eyes."

"It's make-up."

"It isn't. You have good taste...well, I suppose...you generally wear make-up that makes you look good, at least. Those rings under your eyes just make you look worn out and tired. Are you ok?"

Kyo blinked. He hadn't thought that anyone had picked up on how tired he'd been lately. Insomnia and bad dreams had haunted his nights, and they were taking their toll on him. "I...I'm fine. It's okay, just a bit of insomnia. It'll pass after a while."

"Just take it easy. God, I can't believe I'm telling you to be even lazier than usual. But still...when you're distracted like this, it's hard to practise. So buy some sleeping pills or something, okay?"

Kyo nodded. "Yeah, fine."

He watched Kaoru walk over to Toshiya and sit down next to him. Across the room, Shinya and Die were doing a very bad job of ignoring one another. They kept stealing glances at eachother and blushing when their eyes met. How very clichéd. But still...

Kaoru wrapped an arm around Toshiya, who gave him a peck on the cheek. Kyo shook his head. Kaoru and Toshiya, Shinya and Die.

The latter pair, he now noticed, were sitting very close to eachother. Die's hand rested gently on Shinya's knee, and Shinya's fingers were caressing Die's.

So where does that leave me? Kyo's gaze found his phone, lying on a tabletop. No, God no. That was a prank call. Not a true confession of his feelings. He and Mana were just fooling around, playing a game, acting out a flimsy fantasy.  Still, it would be nice to have somebody, like Kaoru had Toshiya and Die had Shinya, and vice-versa.

It would be very nice to have someone like that.

                                                               ***
[Twelve forty-seven at night]

Mana rubbed his makeup-less eyes. He lay on his bed in nothing but a cream silk slip, his mobile phone lying at the foot of the bed, a nearly empty glass of white wine in his left hand.

He'd tried everything; milk, alcohol, taking a walk, counting sheep, meditating, listening to his favorite pieces of classical music...but he still couldn't sleep. If he didn't doze off soon, he wouldn't sleep at all, and would have to amuse himself by playing death metal at a stupidly loud volume all through the night and waking up the neighbours. Which didn't actually sound like too bad an idea at the minute, but he knew in the morning he'd be tired as hell, and would have to face dirty looks and stage-whispers of 'there he goes again, nasty little tramp, thinks he's everything because he's famous; famous for what, I wonder? Dressing like the star of a hentai show about twelve-year-old girls?'. And he really hated that.

Also, his secret admirer hadn't rung. Well, he hadn't said he would. He'd just promised to call back later. 'Later', not 'tomorrow'. Mana sighed, putting the now empty wine glass on his bedside table, and reaching out to press 'play' on his CD player. A soft piano solo caressed his ears, and he smiled slightly, reaching out to turn off the light. Maybe he would get to sleep after all.

Or maybe not. A new melody began playing, interrupting Mana's sleepy musings. He muttered something incomprehensible in a rather vicious way, then realised what the tune was- his ringtone.

Not bothering to turn on the lights, he grabbed the phone and pressed it to his ear. "M-moshi moshi?"

"Moshi moshi."

"Anou..."

"This is the secret admirer from yesterday, but I think you figured that out already." The voice coming over the line wasn't too deep or too high, and not too rough or too squawky either. Mana liked it, although he couldn't pinpoint why.

"I figured out it was you, yes."

"But do you know who I am yet?"

"No...not yet," Mana sighed.

"Ah, well, I'll give you some more clues soon. They should help. How are you?"

"Cold," Mana admitted. "And tired, too. I've been cold and tired all day."

"Really? I thought it was quite warm today. But I was tired, too. If you want, I can just keep this
short; I'll just give you the clues and let you hazard a guess if you like, and then leave you to sleep."

Mana shook his head, before remembering that he was talking on the phone; his mystery companion wouldn't be able to see him, obviously. "No...I have insomnia. Perhaps talking to you will cure it. I'm still curious."

"About what? I can't tell you my name, but I can give you hints, I suppose."

"Oh, excellent. Well, let's see...are you married?"

"No, of course not."

"You're not involved with anyone?"

"No."

"No one at all?"

"I told you, no."

"Ah." Mana breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. I was worried I was about to become somebody's mistress."

Kyo laughed. He didn't know whether Mana was joking or not, but still. "You're not, don't worry. I don't think there could be anyone for me except you."

"I don't know if that's worrying or flattering. I've had stalkers before, but none have been as nice to me as you."

"...huh? I'm not stalking you!"

"Anonymous phone calls with compliments and 'you're the only one'-type phrases? Sounds like stalking to me. But at least you're more of a gentleman than the others."

"I am?"

"Oh, yes. No horses heads in the bed, and none of my friends have been killed for getting too close
to me. You're very polite."

Kyo blinked again. "I really hope you're joking. You always sound so emotionless, it's hard to tell."

"I was joking, yes. But you are very polite."

"Most people wouldn't think so."

"Is that a clue?" Mana asked, propping up his pillows and leaning back against them.

"An accidental one, yes."

"Interesting. I'll remember it. "

"Hn. Any other questions?"

"Um...yes. Can we arrange a time for you to call me?"

"Huh? Why?"

"I was distracted all day long," Mana said quietly. "It's embarrassing to admit, but I was so eager to
talk to you that my bandmates noticed, and they think something's wrong."

Pause.

"Well, actually, they seem to think I'm in love, which is very awkward. Everyone gives me weird looks and listens in when I get a call," the feminine man sighed.

"Then you're not in love?"

"This is only the second time I've talked to you. But I like you, I'll give you that much."

"How much do you like me?"

"You won't tell me your name, so I think it's fair I don't have to answer that question," Mana
snapped, crossing his arms unconsciously.

"Well, alright. Are you okay?"

Mana blinked. "I'm just fine. Where did that question come from?"

"You said you were cold and tired, and your voice sounds croaky. Plus, there are rumours..."

"About what?"

"About you being a workaholic. And that you get up at four or five AM and run every day. You're still awake, and it's one in the morning. You better not try to get up at some ungodly hour of the morning."

"They're all true, but it's okay. I can do without too much slee-"  

"Mana, just don't get up before seven, alright?"

"Why?"

"Because three hours of sleep a night isn't any good. And I can't exactly talk, because I have insomnia as well, but you're the bandleader, so you're allowed to be late-"

"Ah, so you're in a band as well?"

"I might be, but I'm probably not."

"Hmm. Well, fine. Can we get back on topic?

"What topic would that be?"

"Can we arrange a time for you to call me?" Mana repeated, and then hesitated. "Like...daily. Or something."

Kyo grinned. "Sure. Just name a time."

"Um, five PM...?"

"Far too early."

"Nine PM."

"Ten."

"Deal."

Then there was silence. Mana, who had been lying on top of his covers, pulled the duvet over him and pulled his pillows into a horizontal position again, curling up on his left side with the phone pressed to his right ear.

"What was that?" Kyo asked. "That rustling sound."

"Just me changing position. I'm in bed."

"Ah...you know, I always wondered what you wore to bed."

"Is that a question disguised as a statement?"

"Yeah."

"Well," Mana smiled. "I'm wearing next to nothing..."

"Oh, God. Tell me more. Please."

"Nothing but a cream silk slip with lace around the hem, sleeves and neckline..."

"How short?"

"Four inches away from indecent exposure, if that helps."

"That didn't help. I don't know whether I should hate or love my imagination right now."

Mana grimaced. "Ugh. Now that was both impolite and stalkerish. Please don't daydream about me. Or, if you must daydream, just keep it to yourself."

"Absolutely. Sorry."

"To be honest, I look awful. I haven't got any make-up on whatsoever."

"Nah, I bet you're pretty even without all that warpaint."

Mana closed his eyes. He found the voice of his secret admirer to be oddly soothing. He knew he'd sleep well tonight. "You have such a calming voice."

"I do? Not many people think that."

"Is that another clue?"

"Yeah. Another accidental one. I'm making this too easy for you."

"No, I still have no idea who you are. I'm afraid I'm not any good at this game."

"I think you're great at it," Kyo informed the feminine man.

"Huh?" Mana cooed. "Why do you think that?"

"...well, really I just wanted to pay you a compliment," Kyo admitted, and Mana giggled softly.

"That's nice of you," he murmured.

"I'll hang up soon," Kyo promised, listening to Mana's quiet breathing, turned static-y by the bad connection.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because you're tired, and it's getting late."

"I'm not tired."

"You sound like a stubborn kid who doesn't want to go to bed."

"Maybe that's what I am. I'd rather talk to you."

"Sorry, Mana-sama. Goodnight."

"Huh? Oh, alright then. Fine. Goodnight to you too," Mana scowled, stretching out and rolling over onto his back.

"I'll call you at six to make sure you're still in bed."

"Idiot."

Long beep. "The person you were calling has hung up. Please replace the handset and-"

"Huh?" Mana gasped. "I didn't mean it, stupid!" He grimaced and terminated the call, throwing the phone to the foot of the bed. He hated getting hung up on.

***

"Shin-chan?"

"Yes, Die?"

"Do you think Kyo's lonely?"

"Obviously. We're all pairing off. Maybe we should recruit a new band member so we'll have an even number."

"Shut up. Do you reckon he has a crush on someone?"

"Do you know how immature that sounded?"

"Yes. Now what do you think?"

"I think he's been very distracted."

"And he keeps looking at his phone with a sort of longing look."

"True, true."

"You think he was waiting for a call, then?"

"Or wishing he could call someone. Yes, I do."

"Well then, Shin-chan...I think we have every right to know about Kyo's mystery lover, don't you?"

"Oh, absolutely."